A Whale Only Not

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 01:10:05 GMT

This is a late update and really it's only getting done rather than procrastinated because I'm up and bored :)

I quit cineworld. I was going to get fired anyhow so yeah. That all works out for the better.
I've scored me a new job already as well. Manchester temps, simply doing a bit of filing and sorting stuff out blahblahblah.Its all for the better; Experience wise and on the pocket as i'm now getting paid £8 an hour rather than a fiver.

Alas, I find myself very unconfident lately. Which is worrying.
I'm finding myself wishing I was more interesting, better looking, more willing to go out and do more for myself and with new people. I feel my life just isn't really that interesting anymore.
I'm being nostalgic again as well. Which is still depressing, but not as much as i was about all that. Chin up whatwhat.

I want to get back into video games, or at least gain myself a hobby. I feel i'm just sat here pissing away time.

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:42:58 GMT

oh shit i've been 20 for 5 days now :(
Its boring. One of the worst parts is i'm still getting ID'd... Fuck this baby face of mine.

Star Trek: TNG and Voyager are awesome and one of my new obssessions.

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 00:50:48 GMT

I'm kinda compiling a list of women who I think are perfect.
Here's the list thus far:

Shannyn Sossamon
Emma Stone
Zooey Deschanel
Jayma Mays
Keri Hilson
Ke$ha
Molly, Frankie and Una from The Saturdays
Brittany Murphy

One person, who is not included on here, is currently standing out amongst the rest. Kate Hudson.
SHE IS PERFECT!

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 02:52:24 GMT

Shit the bed; i'm 20 in 4 days :(

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:30:01 GMT

I got suspended with pay from work today.
:I

I think I might need to start looking for a new job; This close to christmas as well :(

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:51:11 GMT

I've had a week filled with revelations. Depressing revelations but revelations none the less.
I don't want to be in a realtionship, probably for a very long time now.
I need to sort out what I'm doing wiht my life, because at the moment i'm working a dead end job with unsocial hours and for very little pay.
I need to grow up and change myself in some way.
I really want to move out but I think i'm going to have to choose between my car and moving out. My car will probably win.

Also, I put my car in for it's first M.O.T since I bought it. I pray nothing is wrong with it.
I also pray that i've not been caught on any speed camera's recently....

On an unrelated note:

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:42:34 GMT

Sup @ new shirts @ work

Team Jacob ftw

I hate twilight but i feel like being pompously ironic about owning this shirt.

Also. I'm sat here watching the 100 greatest adverts and again this advert is at the top of the list:

God I love Guinness.
But you know which adverst are better in terms of beer etc?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2V8VNQczRY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQfXkK1FD3s

(It wouldn't let me embed :( )
Mel Sykes would get it right in the bum hole.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:15:05 GMT

Sup. I'm sat here waiting for someone to put the 9th episode of Glee, and, seeing as it is not up yet, I figured I'd do that proper update I was talking about.
Where to begin?

Lets start with being single again, which is, more fun than I remember it being. I've not been on the prowl for anything but somehow managed to get a lay down by the fire twice up to this date. Its just kind of been nice to be able to chill and actually find some projects to do (and by project I mean video games and Tv shows.) The only problem, per say, is that I really cannot be arsed putting the effort into anything remotely relationship-y. I have no idea why but the thought of actually being in a relationship now makes me think, "Nah i'd rather loose an arm". Even reading over a few of the last posts in here makes me laugh at myself in a way of both pity and "Oh my God was I really like that?". I miss some things, but now I just think I miss the person because I could actually be bothered for them. I'm not worried so much but I'm finding myself thinking that, if I were to get into a relationship, the person would have to be even better than the last.

I got fired from Witchwood. Mephadrone is a wonderous legal drug :) Technically shouldn't have been fired but it was white powder BLAHBLAHBLAH and I was only going to get £40ish every 3 weeks; If that.

I contracted an STD/I. I'm not really sure which one genital warts is. More infection I think?
Meh who knows. I'm pretty sure who I caught it off, and I couldn't be more ashamed. Why? BECAUSE SHE WAS MINGIN AND IT WAS FROM A BLOWJOB! Oh lawdy.

Something that happened today?
You know what makes me laugh quite a bit. People of obvious Hindu/Pakistani/Muslim/Indian/etcetc families going to see the new Christmas Carol movie. Do these people even celebrate christmas? I'm pretty sure last time I checked they didn't. This sounds racist but it totally isn't by the by.

Y0

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 03:14:26 GMT

So this is my first upload from lj mobile. Cool, cool...
I honestly thought i had sorted something since my last sort but obviously i haven't so here's a brief summary of what has happened since then.
I'm single, i got fired from wood, i got laid twice, i got an std, and i turn 20 soon. Interesting, i know :). This is just a quick post to get used to the mobile shit. I'll update properly when it's not 3.13am.

Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com

It's 2am

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:08:11 GMT

It's been a while LiveJournal....
7 Weeks apparently.

I'm feeling tired, hungry, and grim at the moment.
Ok, so this is my excuse for not writing in seven weeks. I've been living my life and sorting things out without having to do them so through a computer screen, or felt a need to off load them onto here. The reason for that? Sarah and I have been doing quite well recently. By quite well, I mean to say getting on like a house on fire; in fact, getting on like the great fire of London.
We've been doing more things as a couple I guess. Swimming, Walking, Shopping, Going to Tatton Park (Which I still rate as one of the nicest days I will possibly ever have) and such other activities.
Sarah is eighteen now. Which she was, to put it lightly, excited about. I don't think her weekend turned out exactly how she imagined it to however. Mainly down to people being a tad selfish but also possibly due to a lack of planning. Another factor could have been that she celebrated her actual birthday about two days to early (See: Friday night @ Wood), she ejoyed herself most that night though I was somewhat gutted I wasn't out and was instead working. I also got annoyed at how drunk she got but I can hardly hold that against he; It was her birthday after all~
Saturday we all met at kitch after I had spent the majority of my day with Chris and Ben. Sarah, Shaunna, Jake and I went to Font Bar and later the Casino (which was the best part of the night in my opinion depsite throwing £11 down the drain). It was a good night, and i'm pretty sure Sarah enjoyed it. She had a complaint about Ben simply staying in Kitch, especially as it was dead.
Sunday was the day of Chester zoo. A day I had also been looking forward to seeing as i've promised we'd go from God knows how long ago. Alas, twas not just myself and Sarah present. Other party members included; Jake, Shaunna, James, Danny and Tasha. Admittidly I would have much prefferd to take Sarah alone, but she had wanted others to come and so they did. She did admit to me towards the end of the day that she would have also preffered just the two of us. It cheered me up because I'd felt she was being substantially distant with me.
Driving back from Chester was fun. By the time we got back to Sarah's though I think we were both completely shattered. Her uncle and Grandparents came round with their presents and to have some cake etc. We all had chinese and we watched Spiderman 3 (WHICH IS A GOD AWFUL FILM) until about 10.30pm. I left at 11pm after staying for half an hour jus to talk. She managed to cheer me up again just by saying "Yeah we haven't had much time to talk have we?", It meant a lot just to know she'd noticed we hadn't tlaked much as well. I left after a breif bit of a moan about my cineworld evac/staff meeting thing and how daunting it was D:

Apparently however, Sarah later cried herself to sleep. Which concerns me just a little. Sarah refuses to tell me what this is about though, a simple "Its nothing to do with you so you don't need to know". I don't know, I just thought that since we were finally back on equally good terms (i.e. one of us isn't being a douchebag most of the time) we were able to just spout things off and it not bother us or be able to confide in one another?
After all, isn't that what girl/boyfirends are supposed to do? Be there for one another and help each other if they are having a hard time? To cheer each other up when they are upset?

At the same time I feel somewhat rude because I have been somewhat pushing her to tell me. Majorily because i'm concerned and want to know what has upset her so much, especially on her birthday when i'm 100% sure she had enjoyed her day. Part of me is annoyed because I won't see her for a week, at least, and by then I should have shifts at cineworld so fuck knows when i'm going to see her. :(
I've hazard a guess at a few things but I doubt that these would affect her in the way it has. Seeing as the only other time I've known her to cry herself to sleep is when i've been a douche to her...
I'd say it was stress from her college work but she doesn't seem the kind of person to get overly stressed about it anyway. She's pretty on top of it and, in my opinion, will piss all over it anyway. Distinction all around etc.
I thought for a moment it might have been because the Saturday and Sunday didn't go exactly as she wanted but that just makes her sound a bit spoilt and she defintely isn't spoilt. However, its hardly selfish to ask your friends to come out on the actual date of your birthday for something you'vve been talking about for at least a week or two.

I just want to know what's going on with ehr and be able to be there for her. I can't be caring or help her with whatever if I don't know whats going on. I'd rather eb that then know somethings up with her and just ignore it and go about everything else....
I don't like these kind of barriers, it makes me feel very distant about us.

Its 3am now and I'm unsure whether to tell Sarah i've posted this. I can see it only causing problems to be honest.
I don't like distance :(

I don't know this has kinda shown me that we're not as perfect as I obviously think we are....

Big Update

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:07:03 GMT

I need a haircut:
See i'm pretty sick of having long, thick hair now. Its just irritating and is pretty fucking ahrd to manage with sometimes.
Of course I kinda enjoy having it at the same time and don't really want to jsut shave my head. This took me 2 years to grow to the length ad shape it is now.

My first thtought was to go for something similiar but thinner:

It's not bad but I think it'll jsut end up looking too thin and greasy :/

So I looked for some shorter ones.
Here are my results:

Not bad but not great.
I'm hesitant with short hair...Because I have a huge fod and as such look stupid with short hair.
In other news: Desmond Murray is the biggest douchebag to become a hairdresser.
Who would honestly want a hair cut like this?

Buying cars is so annoying:
I finally found a good enough car worth the money that was being asked for it. Of course when it came to today It had been sold....
I'm sick of getting my hopes up about fucking cars and then im still sat around. Last night was particularely bad as I was pretty much promised that if this car wasn't in bad nick (See: Dents, scratches etc) it would be a definate buy. I was told this yesterday at 3; Today at 1 it was sold...
I blame the salesman who is a douchebag and didn't have the key to the car/garage or something so that we could have seen it yesterday; Also my dad because when it came to when the dealer had the key he couldn't be arsed going down.
Oh not to mention that I burnt a load of cd's which are now just going to sit around until I actually have a reason to play them. Who knows how long that will be. :/

I can't be arsed with today at all.

asdfghjkl;

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:41:48 GMT

At this moment in time I'm very, very, very, very annoyed.

I'm in work in approx. three and a half hours. This will be my third shift of the week, my other two being yesterday and the day before :I

It's a sunny day and I have nothing to do because of said shift.

Car insurance companies refuse to quote me anything less than £2500 pounds.

Honestly, Who the fuck thinks a Nissan Micra form 2001 worth £700 is worth insuring for £3000?
Who thinks a peugeot 106 from 1999 is worth insuring for £2600?
There is really no point in me getting a car at all. I'll just have to put up with public transport for the rest of my life... There's actually no point in me saving money to blow it all on insuring a shitty car for 12 months, I'd much rather go on holiday or something. Which I may very well end up doing at this rate.

I really can't be arsed with anything today. This entry isn't really helping me vent any anger either, it's jsut making me even more angry.
I'm not goinng to put what else i'm thinking because that will just jinx everything and it'll go to pot.

City and Colour are one of my more hated bands now. They will be getting deleted from my iTunes at some point along with Alexisonfire.

Seeing as I apparently haven't updated in 3 days...

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:29:24 GMT

Writers Block Answer

What is your favorite old-school video game?

I have a lot of favourite "Old-School" Video games. Firstly I want to know what people class as Old-school really, after all we're in the 7th generation of video gaming now. Does 5th and 6th gen count as old school? I'll take it that when people say old-school they usually refer to the first console system they had, which makes me fearful for the kids fo today who in 10 or 20 years be saying "OMG REMEMBER WII SPORTS? Good times...". Bad times my friends.
My first console was a second hand Super Nintendo Entertainment System; AKA, SNES. I got it with a few games; F-zero, Street Fighter II Turbo, Zombies Ate My Neighbours, Smash TV, Mortal Kombat 3.
In all honesty I Love all of those games. Though I suck at F-zero and Smash TV was always something to be played with my cousin. Truly good times were had playing Smash Tv and arguing about when we died. :)
I don't even think it's the game that I miss its the experience of someone sitting next to you whilst you're playing co-op or even against one another. I think that's kind of why i'm not bothered about online play really. I enjoy playing pokemon online and that's about it for me. I much prefer getting four friends round for a game of Brawl or Street Fighter. :)

In this LJ: emo, emo, emo, House MD, Watchmen & DJ Sharpnel

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:02:33 GMT

(I'm really not in a writing mood at the moment, I'm kinda just doing this to busy myself, so this will probably read like a curled turd)

Last night was shit.
Today has been shit.
Sarah got her phone nicked/she lost it, alongside a ten squid and I got very annoyed at everything and one. As a result I'm not a happy chappy.
& that's all i'm going to say on that.

I've done nothing all day. Honestly I waited for, at the very least, a text from Ross if he was going down to the clinic with Ben. It was closed however, and thus I sat around all day downloading the discography of Dj Sharnel/Neon Genesis Gabbangelion/killingscum and probably some other aliases.
Some of the albums are pretty sweet listens. Others however are just annoyances. Nevertheless i've made a good dint in the 21 album discogrpahy, thus far I have:

SRPC0001 - Sharpnel Vs Project Gabbangelion

SRPC0002 - Double Dutch

SRPC0003 - From The Heart - Hell Compilation

SRPC0004 - Attack The Sharp Flannel

SRPC0005 - Rave Spector

SRPC0006 - Endless Summer

SRPC0007 - Neon Genesis Gabbangelion: Genesis0:

SRPC0008 -S.E.X. Sound of EXtreme

SRPC0009 - p2p. Peer to Peer

SRPC0010 - X-RATED

SRPC0012 - PPPH - Phat Pinky Powerful Hard

SRPC0013 - Anime Gabba It

SRPC0014 - killingscum - NO STYLE! NO POLICY!?

SRPC0015 - Sharpnelsound Collection -one-

The first few suck but pick up. I'm currently listenign to p2p Peer to Peer and it's not bad but not great. The current song is pretty sweet.
Anime Gabba It is awesome, as is Genesis0:

Moving on anyhow;
I've jsut been looking at play.com because I keep meaning to buy stuff from there but I never have the money because it's being saved away for a car/insurance or is being spent attempting to have a jolyl good time and be social :I
Mainly I need to buy this dvd and this book. House because I NEED IT; though it is annoying how you can buy Season 1-4 for £40.... Damn me for getting given Season 1&2 for christmas then buying 3, all seperate!
Watchmen because I originally intended to read the graphic novel before I saw the film and now I have to wait for it to come out on DVD anyway so there's my reason.

My mum wants to take me to the carphone warehouse tomorrow to finally sort out my phone contract, seeing as it is nearly 6 months over the mandatory contract. I've been due an update for said 6 months.
So I've been looking at phone on their website. I want something that obviously rings and texts, but I also want a speakerphone, mp3 capabilities and a half decent camera on it. I want something pretty snazzy after having to put up with this shitty Samsung for so long however.
THUS I've bene looking at these two phones extensively. The balckberry draws me simply for the sheer wow factor and snaz of it, but the walkman isn't all in all a bad phone; A good all rounder if you will. Not to mention the free XBOX :D

Well; We'll see what pan's out tomorrow (slash today now) wont we?

Today I climbed a mountain...

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:24:28 GMT

Yesterday was a Day and HALF.
First off, I've never walked so much as I have in the last 2 days. After Sarah and I had walked through the woods near her house to get to Shaunna's. We relaxed in the nice weather for the day with Shaunna and Jake, got a few beers in etc. All in all a nice day. We walked back and my legs were so fucked and was so tired I just conked out on Sarah's bed whilst she watched Blow. I woke up about an hour and half later, and then we both went to bed after that. She was up for work the next day so she was going to wake me up and we'd both go down to her work and have a drink before she started work.
It was a beautiful day so we toyed witht he idea of walking down because we were probably going to be fifteen minutes early if we got the bus. The bus came up behind us at this time though and we got on it :) Ha. Anyway, Sarah went into work and I decided to walk from Crown point back to mine. Probably a mistake when It was quite warm and i'm still kinda tired....
Nevertheless I was home in forty minutes and I felt somewhat accomplished. Saying that I have walked further before; Like the time I wasn't allowed on the school bus so I just walked it home from school, or the time me and ben walked it from Sarah's to Wood.

Anyway...
I'm at home by this point of what seems to be becoming a tale; of what I don't know, Probably walking and eventually stupidity. We'll see....
I gave Ross and Jake a text, they seem to be the only people who reply and the only ones of interest who I knew would probably not be up to anything on a bank holiday monday. A glaorious bank holiday Monday. A Bank Holiday monday for getting wrecked!
Jake came round later. I burned all the DJ Sharpnel I had to a CD because, to be frank, Jake doesn't have much in the way of driving music as he does just music. Not that i'm saying he has bad taste in music or anything, just that YouMeAtSix, The Yeah Yeah Yeah's, and Kanye West Love Lockdown aren't things i'd personally listen to whilst driving. As a passenger sure whatever but I wanted to convert someone to some gritty Japanese Hardbeat.
This became our driving song until we decided it had been over played:

Gay I know but awesome at the same time :D

We got some KFC and then decided to roll on to Ben's. A Short stay later we were on our way to ross' who himself was on his way to Jude's. Thus a convoy was formed, A Peugeot 206 followed by a Hyundai coupé. Another short stay at Jude's and we were ringing round for a twenty bag, to very little avail.
in the space of time we were waiting around for a dealer I have never laughed so much at stupid scrotty kids attemptig to give us shit. Quotes of the day were formed here.
"Faggot, Faggot, Faggot, Faggot, He's alreet."

After picking up we drove to Dovestones, skinned up 3 doobs and set off for a bit of a walk. I state this now; Whoever's idea it was to climb to the top of the hill/mountain was both a genius and the biggest knobhead. We set up little rest points which got named on the way; "Two rocks", "The sofa", and the top. We had a doob on the way up to Two rock's and chilled there for a while, One at the sofa, and another once we were at the top. At all of these points really gay pictures were taken of us all posing like the faggots we really are. :)
This wasn't the best bit for me though. That was to come once we reached the top and set back down.
You know when you round down a hill and you pick up speed really quickly? Well try doing that on a REALLY FUCKIGN STEEP HILL. The first time this happened was funny simply because it wasn't so much a painful experience as it was hilarious that I was suddenly travelling at the speed of sound and heading directly into Ross; Who got speared. I then tumbleweeded for a bit and Ross managed to keep his balance/slow himself.
The second time was hilarious because I suddenly gained speed, nearly took Jake out, then fell...HARD.

Tasha cannot take pictures...

It's not as bad today as I had expected it to be but there are definately big lumps and brusies. My chin's a bit buggered as well D:

We smoked a few more doobs, drove to mine, played some smash bros. and then I fell asleep like a bitch.

All in all this easter weekend has been good.
As Ross would say, Good monday.

Apparently I have the clap and know Federico Macheda

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 16:43:34 GMT

So apparently I may know Manchester United's Under 18 striker :I
Crazyness.

Work is becoming some what of a chore nowadays, simply because everytime I step in there I have some sort of drama or I end up talking about something drama filled. Take for example last friday when EVERYONE had someone annoyed at them or something had happened with someone to put the in a bad mood. This friday however I was accused of having the clap....
To be honest, I don't find myself interesting enough to have malicious rumours started aginst me. I've never heard anything against me that wasn't instantly dismissed. Of course I had the whole "Are you gay" thing in High school but I was incredibly camp back then :I
Anyhow, Speaking to Rose whilst grabbing someone's drink; I can't remember exactly what I said but her response was, "But doesn't she (Sarah) have something?".
To which I reply, a little bewildered, "Um..No. Where have you heard this?"
"Oh someone told me that Sarah, Jay and You all have the clap..."
So from the offset this is a rumour that presumes:

Sarah slept with Jay who has the clap

I then slept with Sarah

& now we're all one big happy group of clap carriers.

:I

Personally I'd like to have words with whomever started this malicious rumour (It's funny though because Apparently Jay does have the clap).
Who knows, It could just be another case of Chinese whispers....

I am not looking forward to work tonight.
Mainly because We have 1 barrel of carlsberg, and we are on the last barrel of Export, S/bow and Guinness. So unless there has been an emergency delivery of EVERYTHING we're probably going to be a bit fucked tonight....
I just hope it finishes early so that I can go see a man about a dog ;)

Summer driving tunes

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:50:08 GMT

I got bored and decided to go through my iTunes and pick out the stuff i'll most likely stick on one CD to get played constantly. Of course albums will get put on other Cd's (See: Jay-z, Lil Waye, Parkway, Four Year Strong, ADTR, FOB, Protest etcetc) But for now this is a kinda draft of what i'll be driving around to.
This list kind of preumes I wont have a horrible horrible banger of a car:

Genki Rockets - Heavenly Star Sunrise Remix
Shifty - Slide Along Side
Daft Punlk - Harder Better Faster Stronger
DJ SHARPNEL - Pants
Killingscum - Understyle
Killingscum - Morning Knifreak
Mad Capsule Markets - Fly High
Mad Capsule Markets - Gaga Life
Mad Capsule Markets - Pulse
From First To Last - One Armed Boxer Vs Flyig Guillotine
From First To Last - Failure By Designer Jeans
The Cribs - Men's Needs
HelloGoodbye - Bonnie Taylor Shakedown 2K4
Panic! - Camisado
Panic! - There's a Good Reason These Tables are Numbered
David Banner Vs Prehensile - Like a Kirby
Kanye West - Throw Some D's Remix
Kanye West - Slow Jamz
Kano - Paper
Kano - I Like It
Kano - Hunting We Will Go
Ghetto - Who's Got
Ghetto - Mountain

Actually looking @ that makes me want to change alot :I
Oh well; It's not like Its anyhtig big to worry about. Especially seeing as I still don't have a car.

Probably a mandatory update

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 15:25:51 GMT

Seeing as I haven't written here in a nearly a week or something I thought i'd give it a good ol' update and what not.
Thing is, I don't feel like I have a lot to update on...

On saturday my dad and I went out to a Peugeot and Toyota dealer and I sat in a few cars. There was a really nice lime green 207 (or 206?) which I would love to own. 107's are also very roomy considering how tiny they look from the outside; It would probably look comical me getting out of one though. The Peugeot dealer was very calm and seemed like a family man, I think they were more of a garage than an actual dealer though. The Toyota dealer on the other hand, What a hard sale he was trying to make. The Yaris' aren't bad and the hatchback is particularely roomy, he was trying to sell us a 1.3 though. Which is about .3 out of the size engine I want...& I don't mean I want a 1.6.
Anyway, He got us onto Toyota's insurance company. I was quoted £7500 pounds for a three door 1.33 TR Toyota Yaris 09 Plate. A bit out of my price range seeing as £2500 is a bit astronomical. The New Iq was an interesting viewing though; It is SO FUCKIGN WIDE and SO FUCKIGN SHORT. It's meant to be able to seat four fully grown men and in all honesty...I can see it having trouble fitting two.
Links etc:
Click
Click

Alas though. The search for my motor goes on. I believe we'll be going sitting in Punto's and Corsa's some time soon hopefully.
I hope I get one before summer is over though. If I have to wait another year to ride around doing nothing but blaring tunes I might cry.

In other news; My mum went into Hospital today for her surgery. She's having her gall-bladder removed and she was a bit worried. In her own words; "I run you life, I run Tasha's life, I rune your Dad's Life, I run things at work and nwo the control is in someone else's hands and thats a bit scary". :(
Oh & Sarah she said "Where've you been then", When I said yours she said "Dare I ask why?". She was more understanding then I expected, so yeah :)))

Other than this I have nothing else to report besides my iTunes being a douchebag and I had mad ball pai that keeps going and coming back every now and again. It had sorted itself out this mornign but I think it just twisted again just now.... D:

Summer is on it's way

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:40:33 GMT

I'm a bit annoyed today. Both with myself and with other people.
The last three days have been some of the most glorious sunshiney days, and as such mark the beginning of summer. Knowing thats its summer i'm all up for doing something; I jsut wish I could say the same for some other people. At the moment I'm sat in my house with a fuckig basketball tanktop thing on and 3/4 track suit bottoms... I feel like a knob...

See i'd bother with Ben but he also can't be arsed to get ready and venture out...
I'd go out on my own but that seems all together pointless and a bit sad really...

This is further reason why I need my car now. I updated the lsit of cars to include group 2 insurance just to give myself more options as I think if I were to get one of the group 1's it would be a case of buying new.
Here's the Group 2 list:

Fiat Grande Punto [x]
Ford Ka [x]
Kia Picanto [x]
Mazda 2 [x]
Nissan Micra Hatchback [x]
Peugeot 206 [x]
Renault Modus [x]
Renault Clio [x]
Seat Arosa [x]
Seat Ibiza [x]
Skoda Roomster [x]
Toyota Yaris [x]
VW Lupo [x]
VW Polo Hatchback [x]

I've also decided this is the first thing that is getting played in my car... This takes it that I will own a car by the end of summer however.

And so; the hunt continues.

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:10:09 GMT

Today has been an odd day thus far. I've been awake for about six hours now, six being more than the usual two, and i've already: Had an arguement via text messaging, been depressed, been cheery, sorted numerous cars by insurance group and watch the gilmore gays I don't know how many times. Really e4, if you're going to repeat the same stuff over the morning and afternoon make it something better than season one of one tree hill and the gilmore girls for lordy sake.

Let me get into a bit more depth.
She text me today; confronting me about the whole I went on her livejournal and read her private posts about me blahblahblah. I apologised and said it was out of order. She had a go. I said she couldn't be buddybuddy with me on facebook one day then bitchy on texts with me the next. She said I was spineless. I said I don't need to gain her approval anymore seeing as we're not together. She called me a spineless little girl. I gave up because really what am I supposed t text back to that?
So after that I felt a bit depressed thinking she's probably going to do something to really annoy me now; or just generally be unpleasent.

I grew a pair after this though and cheered up. I was supposed to be going town with Ben but that fell through so yeah...
I don't actually know how I managed to cheer up... I just kind of did. I think StumbleUpon might have helped (that is seriously the best add-on I have ever installed).

My Dad later came home and gave me a PARKERS PRICE GUIDE TO USED CARS which was pretty handy as I marked out the cars which were Insurange group 1.
Here's the list complete with linked photo's:
Citroen c2 [x]
Fiat panda [x]
Peugeot 107 [x]
Renault Clio hatchback [x]
Skoda Fabia hatchback [x]
Toyota Aygo [x]
Toyota Yaris hatchback [x]
Vauxhall Corsa [x]

Hopefully i'll be getting a C2 or Corsa, purely because the rest are ugly as sin. :I
to be frank though any car will suffice.

What a glorius day to get wrecked :D

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:41:40 GMT

Today i'm recovering after smoking a 20 with my boys.
After suffering through the tragedy of illness I awoke yesterday morning feeling a lot better. Besides the sore throat and a mild cough that is. Never the less, I felt rejuvenated and with that I got ready and Ross and I went for drive and to pick up.
This was of course, easier said than done. See, the good thing about it being a glorious, sunny day in Britain is that when it happens it is well appreciated; meaning everyone goes out and does something. The down side is that dealers become lazy and never have any weed :I
We did manage to get a 20 after an hour or so's thinking/ringing/driving to and waiting said 20.

I must say that I missed summer and weed. It's all good sitting in with a few good spiffs’ and friends but its nothing compared to sitting on a hill with the sun on you, a joint in one hand a can in the other, cracking jokes at the expense of one another. There’s never a bad time in that kind of situation. At least, there was never a bad time like that in college and now I’m not in college so surely, in the words of the 97/98 labour campaign, things can only get better!

My parents have been looking at cars and I’ve been punching in the insurance. Hopefully I will be getting a newer car on a finance deal as that may just suit me better. I think I’d rather have something newer then have to trade a banger in after a year and change my insurance. Punto’s seem to be the order of business, which is fine by me. I quite like the newer Punto’s. Hopefully it all goes through and then I can fuck off whenever and to wherever I want. :D

My current music is a fucking tune and has a really depressing but uplifting line in my opinion:
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

Edit:
Also this:

Also; going on her LJ one last time was a bad idea. She found out somehow :/

Man flu

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 00:13:56 GMT

The past 3 days have not been good ones, to put it lightly.
Thursday was the day that things were officially ended and so now i'm single. I also came down with a bit of illness but thought nothing of it, I would later learn this to be foolish.
Friday was the night that I had to serve her and watch her have a good time, not to mention the fact that Jay was there. I also could barely work due to my illness taking a horrible turn for the worst. My boy made it better; Honestly people should be very grateful he is their friend and women should be grateful he wants to bang them.
Saturday was the day I sat around all dy feeling ill and sorry for myself and gave away an eight or nine hour shift.

I'm pretty sure i've come down with a bit of flu. Sore throat, Trouble swallowing/eating, cough, ear ache, hot & cold sensations; hmmm. It's really not on, especially seeing as it caused me an eight hour shift tonight which means once again I am left with only twelve/thirteen hours pay... I suppose it's better than nothing but honestly after i've paid keep and put some away to save that's only forty of so pounds.

Things are most definetely over between her and I. nuff said.

My boy is actually my hero.
He came up and told me whilst I was working, "Jay was trying to talk to me before and he tried ot shake my hand I was just like; Mate i've got too much respect for the whale to even associate myself with you." He also told me he went to buy him a drink and he just said "If you buy me a drink I will just throw it on the floor". It seem's a bit petty on reflection but I need other people to hate hi as much as I do. I kind of want people to take my side with everything that's gone on, but it's just not going to happen. Not that i'm saying people will take her side.

I don't know.

I'm very afraid of being alone.

My current music is an absolute tune by the way. Another great discovery using the Stumble upon add-on.
Here is the link to listen and download it from.

Have you seen Nathan?

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:21:41 GMT

Honestly, I ask myself this question alot lately. :I

My posts are getting gradually shorter aren't they?

I can't tell you how much this spoke to me today...

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 23:10:40 GMT

At the moment when I felt that I was standing on two feet and realising that the world is my oyster. She slowly approached me, walking with a stride of both confidence in herself and her beauty, then whispered in my ear the words “I miss you”. Suddenly there was a surge of emotion rising through my body, first came happiness in reminiscence, then came confusion in wondering why she's telling me this, followed by a touch of hurt knowing all too well that this wasn't what I wanted it to be, ending with a quick burst of hope. After this unimaginable surge of emotion, which I had recently either become immune too or simply blocked out, I splurged the words “I miss you too” without due care or thought.

Once I had said the words I had wanted to say for many months I quickly regretted it, knowing that the last thing she wants in her life is a needy loser. Although she seemed to react well to my response I knew deep down that it wouldn't end up how I wanted.

After the amount of pain and self doubt I had put myself through, the amount of times I had drank myself to a state of comatose due to there being no other way of dampening the hurt. Why of all times, just as I am getting myself together, with work, socially and life as a whole, does she approach me now?

When we were together we were not only together as a couple, we were best friends too, we did everything together, which to my current dilemma leads me to believe that she doesn't miss me the same way that I miss her. She misses me as her best friend. I miss her as my lover.

Since then we have talked frequently, hung out and watched films, she even stayed in my bed whilst I was drunk. I didn't want to make a move due to worrying she will shun me forever afterwards. Though I have come to realise that since this fateful event I have put my social and sex life to a halt, hoping that her telling me what she told me was more than it actually was. She doesn't miss me, she misses the idea of me, someone to tell her that she's great when she's feeling down, somebody to make her laugh and someone to just plainly be there for her. Unfortunately those times have passed and fortunately I have realised this before it's too late.

It is time to move on.

Unfortunately I cannot tell the person who originally posted this how much I admire him. Maily because he posted it on Facebook but also incase she see's it.
I'm so glad I have my parents at a time like this. Now I just need a car and my friends.

Apprenticeship application

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 19:39:20 GMT

I've just applied for this.
Fingers crossed it will come through because I'll end up with 2 more qaulifications as well as a FUCKING JOB. I wouldn't mind doing the work either seeing as its to do with communications, the internet, digital Tv etcetcetc.
£12k a year to start doesn't sound bad either; as well as other benefits :)

I shant get my hopes up yet though.